tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456696.post2292096021535969722..comments2022-06-07T14:08:41.308-07:00Comments on murmurings: In God's Wildnessmurrayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02298744669558653320noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22456696.post-64943969871648143512011-07-04T23:10:08.312-07:002011-07-04T23:10:08.312-07:00What a fine relating of one of life's... stimu...What a fine relating of one of life's... stimulating moments. <br />It is helpful to read your follow-up reasoning and analysis; I've experienced similar thinking and reaction after intense moments. <br /><br />I have noted, more in the last ten years or so, that my thinking often moves on to another set of questions: Is God any less good if the more pleasant "thing" does not come my way? <br />Is His care and kindness in any way lessened by those I love, or myself, having to face harsh, difficult, or even terminal circumstances? And, is God any “meaner,” or more common or vulgar in His administration of life if those circumstances are horribly messy rather than orderly, sterile and clean (I am thinking of a quiet death in one’s sleep vs. being stomped into the ground by a protective mother Moose)? <br /><br />Certainly one situation is preferable to the other, maybe, most of the time, I would think; then again, could God really be trusted to know “best” from “tidy” even in such less-than-tasteful moments?<br /><br />In the past, I knew the "correct" answer was "Of course He is not meaner," and "Of course He can be trusted," but, those were intellectual answers not existential ones. Now, I think and hope I am a bit closer to being able to look a fellow questioner eye to eye and say the same thing without him or her sensing substantial doubt in my heart. Though God need never "prove" Himself to me, yet, in living experience, He has demonstrated to me I can trust Him though I am no closer to understanding Him in any profound way. Trust Him I am too, in my weakness and ignorance, I am living trusting Him to mature me, to finish what He has begun in me.<br />Some have experienced and observed enough "bad" being turned and showing a reasonable, eventual ending in true good, according to our weak and broken understanding of God's revelation of the real meaning of "good." Some have seen enough to know that what we have not yet seen is of the same nature and caliber – consistent with eternal wisdom and goodness expressed in God's continuing revelation of His will and way in the visible universe. <br />I have lived sufficiently, and sufficiently involved in that living, to know I may yet again – most likely will – cry my heart out when perceived injustice is done to me (shades of growing up, or even by me). Perhaps the prod to reaching deeper into Holy Spirit may come as some heart-searing emotional pain rips my life asunder and I have to cry out for God to hold me in His arms and rock me to sleep. I may wake, alone, to squeeze my eyes shut desiring to squeeze life out of my pain-wracked being, and from that place, cry out “Please, O God, please put up with my ignorant mouthing of words born in a furnace of personal agony. However, I have a history; I have my small portion of His-story, and because I do, I know He will do exactly that. I know that as He is rocking me to sleep, He will be sharing His beautiful fragrances, bathing me in His garments of light, and sharing the wonders of the music of His being with me in my brokenness. He will be enlightening my heart and mind to see Him more clearly, to love Him more purely and, once I truly wake, to live each hour with more simplified, more child-like, trust in His good heart and wise governance of all that is.<br />He has loved me and He has loved me very well indeed, so well, in fact, that I am becoming able to love Him, and others, a little bit myself. <br />In His Name, to His praise,<br />BillBill L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03316834721573863572noreply@blogger.com